New on 2/92012
“I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying.”
--Michael Jordan, born February 17, 1963.(I gess that's true of my writing thought it's getting harder and harder to accept failure.)
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.”
--John Barrymore, born February 15, 1882.(Mine never seems to find the door.)it's
“I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.”
--Jack Benny, born February 14, 1894.(I probably deserve my infirmaties.)
“Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.”
--Samuel Butler, born February 8, 1835.
(Much to our dismay [state legislature] though it usually is worth laughing at, but that’s all it’s usually worth.)
"Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it."
~Robert Brault
(Especially if you're the president of the US.)
“Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
--Charles Dickens, born February 7, 1812.
(Ain’t it the truth…)
“We're not lost. We're locationally challenged.”
--John M. Ford, born February 1, 1894.
(Sounds like me anytime I drive anywhere I haven't been before.)
Virtual contact through electronic means reduces the need for actual contact. My favorite characterization of the social-media explanation (with some anecdotal evidence for it) is that 'driving interferes with texting.
--- Michael Sivak - Co-author of study of younger drivers
(Definitely an interesting twist…)
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New on 1/9/2012
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
--Groucho Marx
(That sounds like something Groucho would say.)
“A man is saved no faster than he gains knowledge”
― Joseph Smith Jr., born December 23, 1805.
(I guess I’d better get some then.)
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
-- Bill Watterson
(A sad statement of the reality of it all.)
"Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it."
-- Robert Brault
(Ain’t it true.)
“I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who.”
--Rudyard Kipling, The Elephant's Child (1902), born December 30, 1865.
(A bit fanciful to assume there are six honest serving-men at all…)
“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.”
--Victor Borge, born January 3, 1909.
(Maybe I had better learn to smile.)
“Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.”
--Isaac Newton, born January 4, 1642.
(And most people have none.)
New on 12/4/2011
Now I lay me down to sleep
Into my room the monsters creep
If they should eat me before I wake
Please dear Lord, give them a bellyache.
-- Just me -- I thought it was kind of cute. Gonna post it on YouTube.
says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
--C. S. Lewis, born November 29, 1898.
(I guess I now know why I have no friends.)
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
-- Winston Churchill, born Nov. 30, 1874.
(I know a lot of people who would qualify.)
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
--Woody Allen, born December 1, 1935.
(I freely admit that I find Woody Allen and his movies [if they may be called that] completely unfunny and a not very nice person in his personal life. But I though this statement was cute.)
“A girl phoned me the other day and said ‘Come on over, there's nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.”
--Rodney Dangerfield, born November 22, 1921(sounds like the story of my love life)
"At this very moment in time, you are perfectly designed for the results you are getting."
-- Dan Madison(That definitely sounds, unfortunately, true.)
"If I asked people what they wanted they would of said "faster horses"
--Henry Ford. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
-- T. S. Elliot(But then it’s too late.)
“If a cat always lands on its feet and bread always lands butter side down. What happens when you tie a piece of butter bread to a cat’s back and throw it out a window?”
–Source unknown( Just try it and see. – Just kidding.)
“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
--Thomas A. Edison(Especially true for writers and inventors.)
“You don’t have to worry about eyestrain from looking at the brighter side of life!”
-- Anonymous(Because most of us don’t really have a brighter side???)
“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.”
--Rich Cook, author of The Wizardry book series(Being a programmer, I completely concur with this)
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”
--Wayne Gretzky(How true, how true)
New on 11/20/2011
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
George Bernard Shaw
(How true, How true)
“Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.”
--John Lithgow, born October 19, 1945.
(Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug.)
“Works of imagination should be written in very plain language; the more purely imaginative they are the more necessary it is to be plain.”
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge, born October 21, 1772.
(Halloleua)
“A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself.”
--Henry Morgan, born October 24, 1900.
(I try not to do that...)
“Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.”
--Leon Trotsky, born October 26, 1879.
(Unexpected, I don’t think so.)
“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
-- Teddy Roosevelt, born October 27, 1858.
(How true, how true)
“Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hasn't tried nailing Jell-O to a tree.”
-- John Candy, born October 31, 1950.
(Sounds like something John Candy would say [and probably try to do])
“For when the One Great Scorer comes
To write against your name,
He marks-not that you won or lost-
But how you played the game.”
--Grantland Rice, "Alumunus Football," Only the Brave and Other Poems, (1941), born Nov. 1, 1880.
“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
--Will Rogers, born Nov. 4, 1879.
(Does anybody except a congressman really like congress?)
“Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.”
--Margaret Mitchell, born Nov. 8, 1900.
(Reputation, What’s that?)
“It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.”
--Carl Sagan, born Nov. 9, 1934.
(I have heard that some people are dumber than a box of rocks, but does this mean were are all dumber than dolphins?)
New on 10/23/2011
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“The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.”
--Niels Bohr, born October 7, 1885.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.
"Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
Thomas A. Edison(This one I have taken to heart. It seems appropriate for writers.)
Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)
"Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?" - Winnie the Pooh
----------------- Writers -------------------------------------------
“Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.”
(I'm not sure I really buy this one, especially for poetry.)
“My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip.”
--Elmore Leonard, born October 11, 1925.------------------- Computer stuff --------------------------------------------
“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”
--Thomas Watson, president of IBM, 1943
(Oh, sure)
“Television won’t be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.”
--Darryl Zanuck, executive at 20th Century Fox, 1946(Mine is not made of plywood, so I guess that doesn't apply.)
“Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years."
--Alex Lewyt, president of vacuum manufacturer Lewyt Corporation, 1955(I'm glad this one didn't come to pass)
“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”
--Ken Olsen, founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977(Of course not, nobody has on in their home -- NOT)
“Almost all of the many predictions now being made about 1996 hinge on the Internet’s continuing exponential growth. But I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse.”
--Robert Metcalfe, founder of 3Com, 1995(Oh, sure)
“Apple is already dead.”
--Nathan Myhrvold, former Microsoft chief technology officer, 1997(Dream on Nathan)
“Two years from now, spam will be solved.”
--Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, 2004(Dream on, Bill)
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